The Truth About “Wearing Kids Out” for Better Sleep

It’s one of the most common bits of advice parents hear:

“Just keep them busy. If they’re tired enough, they’ll sleep better at night.”

And to be fair, sometimes it does seem to work. You pack in a long day, your child skips a nap, runs wild at the park, and by bedtime, they crash out quickly. You breathe a sigh of relief and think:

Finally, I’ve cracked it.

But here’s the catch: while it might work once in a while, repeating that approach actually leads to more disrupted sleep in the long run. What looks like a quick win often backfires.

Why It Feels Like It Works (At First)

When children are exhausted, they sometimes fall asleep faster simply because their bodies have no choice. That first night, you might feel like you’ve discovered the magic trick: fewer naps, more activity, and suddenly your little one is out cold.

But sleep isn’t just about “running out of fuel.” It’s a delicate balance of hormones, circadian rhythms, and recovery cycles. And when children are repeatedly pushed beyond their limits, their bodies shift into survival mode—and that’s when things unravel.

When Busy Days Don’t Equal Better Nights

I once worked with a family who had been told exactly that: “Just tire them out.” So they did.

Their days were jam-packed—playgroups, swimming, park trips, and climbing frames in the garden. By evening, their little one was practically running on fumes. The parents were certain this level of activity would guarantee a peaceful night.

But bedtime was chaos.

Instead of falling asleep easily, their child became restless—cheeks flushed, rubbing eyes, crying one minute, bouncing around the next. And when sleep finally came, it wasn’t restful. Nights were broken, mornings started far too early, and the whole family was running on empty.

They couldn’t understand it. “We thought the more tired they were, the better they’d sleep.”

Why Overtiredness Makes Sleep Worse

Here’s the science behind what was happening:

The Hormone Hijack

When children miss naps or are kept awake too long, their bodies release cortisol (the stress hormone) and adrenaline to keep them going. These hormones act like a double espresso giving them a sudden “second wind” instead of winding down.

The Melatonin Block

Normally, as bedtime approaches, the body releases melatonin, the hormone that tells the brain it’s time to sleep. But when cortisol levels are high, melatonin is suppressed. The result? A child who’s clearly tired but suddenly wired, emotional, and unable to settle.

Lighter, Broken Sleep

Even once asleep, elevated cortisol reduces sleep quality. Children are more likely to wake between cycles, cry out in the night, or rise far earlier than parents would like.

Sleep Debt Builds Over Time

Skipping a nap or pushing bedtime later once usually isn’t a disaster. But when it happens often, overtiredness accumulates like a debt. The body stays in a state of hyperarousal, making every night harder and harder to manage.

Spotting Overtiredness

Parents often assume their child “just isn’t tired enough” when actually they’ve tipped into overtiredness. Signs include:

• Sudden bursts of energy right before bedtime

• Extra clinginess or meltdowns in the evening

• Long battles to fall asleep

• Multiple night wakings

• Early morning starts despite a late bedtime

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—it’s one of the most common patterns I see in families I support.

The Shift That Changes Everything

For the family I worked with, the solution wasn’t more stimulation—it was balance.

We focused on:

• Protecting naps instead of pushing through them

• Watching for early sleep cues and acting before the “second wind” hit

• Replacing evening rough-and-tumble with calm routines stories, baths, cuddles

• Creating predictable rhythms for waking, napping, and bedtime so the body clock could reset

Within a week, evenings were calmer. Their child settled more easily, nights were smoother, and mornings weren’t quite so painfully early. The change wasn’t about wearing them out—it was about finding their sweet spot for rest.

Final Thoughts

Yes, sometimes keeping a child up later or skipping a nap seems to “work” as a one-off. But over time, overtiredness builds, stress hormones take over, and sleep gets harder not easier.

Children don’t need to be worn out to sleep well. They need rhythm, balance, and the right cues for rest.

If bedtime in your house feels like a battle, know it doesn’t have to be. With a few small tweaks, nights can transform for your child, and for you.

Ready for Calmer Nights?

If bedtime feels like a daily struggle, you don’t have to figure it out alone. With the right guidance, small changes can make a big difference—not just for your child’s sleep, but for the whole family’s wellbeing.

I offer gentle, tailored sleep support in London with in home support, as well as flexible online sleep support for families further afield. Whether you’d like hands-on help in your own home or expert advice from the comfort of your sofa, you’ll get a plan that works for your child and your family.

Together, we can create calmer evenings, more predictable nights, and mornings that start on a happier note.